Fendi Drawstring Hem T Shirt.

Source: Eluxury

For fat people like me who have a BMI of 21.1 (ugh, it's in the "Normal" range), these loose-fitting t-shirts are a blessing.

I tried going on a diet, but as I quickly found out, one cannot survive on vitamin pills and bell peppers alone. That's why I added a can of Ensure to my daily regimen.

Fendi drawstring t shirt available at Eluxury for $215.

Bluefly President's Day Sale.

Lambertson Truex Stanton tote - $159.99 (Retail $375)



Fendi patent leather palazzo belt - $227.99 (Retail $395)




Hermès goatskin ankle boots - $543.99 (Retail $945)

There's more, but I have a fever and don't feel like posting more.

Valentine's Day Gift: Fendi Selleria Trunk.

Source: eBay [Seller ID: heatakafu]

No, Mattel did not collaborate with Fendi; they came up with this all by themselves.

You know that tranny horse is loving his new pink tail and manicured hooves.

Fendi Selleria pink luggage trunk available at eBay. [Starting bid $2000 / Buy It Now $5000]

Fendi Woven Leather Messenger Bag.

Source: Eluxury

Some people just don't know how to quit when they're ahead. They got the right idea at first - no Fendi logo, ideal size for casual needs, dark brown color, and top-zipped. What would have been a simple, functional flat messenger bag was instead ruined by that leather flap window on the upper left corner. It's kind of like a dust particle in a protein crystallization experiment -- something seemingly insignificant and minuscule can screw everything up.

Fendi messenger bag available at Eluxury for $845.

Fendi Monogram Overnighter.

Source: Saks

I've been cramming for my final exam that takes place in less than two hours, and this monstrosity of a bag effectively purged my short-term memory -- ugh, now I have to read about intracellular signaling in Xenopus eggs all over again. This bag is like mental bleach. If you have painful childhood memories, stare at this bag for a good five minutes, and perhaps you'll be able to develop normal, healthy interpersonal relationships from then on. Lesbians may even start finding men attractive.

I kid. Sort of.

Why do they keep coming out with garbage like this? No one wants it!

Fendi overnighter available at Saks for $950.

Fendi Fall/Winter 2008.

[Click for larger photos]



I'm not sure what to call this -- clutchfolio? Portfoliclutch? Whatever it is, it doesn't yield much practical use, but neither do the festive national security threat levels. (Are we still orange?) However, exotic skin is not something I can easily resist.



Back when the Edith bag was popular among women, I wished Chloé would make a men's travel version. Although the only similarity is the trapezoidal shape, I'm going to tentatively say my wish came true. I really hope this bag goes into production. If only I had a rich sugardaddy to buy me the crocodile version...



The point of the messenger bag is to free your hands. The above look is a compromise: you don't want your jacket to get wrinkled by the shoulder strap, but you want to dress-down a bit with a messenger bag. Unlike the Three-Fifths Compromise or the war on terror, this actually works.

Photo Credit: AFP, Getty Images, Wire Image

Fendi Voodoo Messenger Bag.

Source: Eluxury

I thought they named this the 'Voodoo' bag because it mysteriously came back from the bag grave where it should have stayed.

But equally mysterious is how this modified skull monogram got approved. Didn't the whole skull fad die out?

Fendi voodoo messenger bag available at Eluxury for $600.

Fendi Monogram Leather Briefcase.

Source: Bluefly

You can hardly tell those are tiny embossed logos.

The 10% additional discount is available for today only.

Fendi black leather briefcase available at Bluefly for $1220.40

Fendi + Great Wall of China.

This October, Fendi will have a fashion show on the Great Wall of China.

From the article:

LVMH [parent company of Fendi] Chairman Bernard Arnault has said repeatedly he sees potential for Fendi to become a "star brand" alongside LVMH stablemates such as leather-goods maker Louis Vuitton and TAG Heuer watches.

"We can't be a global luxury group without a strong Italian brand," Fendi Chief Executive Michael Burke told Les Echos.

Fendi had sales of around 350 million euros ($469 million) in 2006 and aims to double that by 2008. Its target is also to achieve a margin of over 20 percent by then, Les Echos said. The LVMH spokeswoman said the figures were correct.



Source: Marcio Madeira/CondéNet

First, it's announced that Beijing will host the next Olympics. Now, Fendi will convert the ancient site that once served as a vital barrier against the Huns into an artificial runway for svelte models to show off luxurious bags and chic clothing. Is LVMH starting a campaign to turn the well-heeled Chinese into copious consumers of leather and fur and positioning themselves as a true global megabrand? This runway show will surely garner much buzz, not just in the fashion world, but well, globally. I hope the world doesn't forget that despite the apparent modern advancements of China, millions are malnourished or starving and human rights violations (1, 2, 3, 4) are still occurring on a daily basis.



LVMH really wants to revitalize Fendi. Let's hope it doesn't come at the expense of a model's broken ankle when she trips on the stony path. Or the false idea that Fendi is indicative of a heralding of social change.

[Source]

Silver Fendi Briefcase.

I'm not going to lie. I want that briefcase. It's gotta be hiding in the backroom of some Fendi boutique somewhere.

I just have a soft spot for metallic bags. Or tacky things in general.

Shoe Disaster: Fendi Sneaker.

Source: Bluefly

I can't imagine anyone walking around in this. But then again, I thought Britney would be back to her old self by now, so who knows how accurate my assessment is in anything. The problem with the Fendi monogram isn't necessarily the monogram itself. Rather, it's the unregulated plastering of the logo in every possible square inch that ultimately brings down the appeal of the product. Would it have been so terrible to monogram just the middle band and leave the rest of the shoe in peace? Poor shoe, it wants to be like other normal shoes and not get stared at, but it can't because it's like a token black person forced to stand awkwardly next to Hilary at a press conference.

Available at Bluefly for $280.

Holding Two Fendi Bags With One Hand.

Source: Getty

[Click for larger pictures]

Fendi Fall 2007. I guess it's efficient to showcase two bags at a time. The bags that the models are carrying are probably stuffed with something light, but a real person might actually put heavy things in those totes and carryalls. It probably wouldn't be wise to carry all that weight on one side of your body for a prolonged period of time. Unless you're fidgeting with your Blackberry you can't bear to part with or drinking that cup of chai iced tea, balance your bags on both sides of your body. Your spine might thank you when you're an active octogenarian.

(Top Left) Yellow suede just ends up looking like a condiment. Paired with a clashing bag, it's like putting mustard on a chocolate-covered donut.

(Top Right) Burgundy suede looks better, but I do not like the contrast stitching. The brown monogram duffle...well, you know what I think about that.

(Bottom Left) Light brown suede is a safe bet, and it makes the contrast stitching less contrasting. I like the flat shape of the tote with a simple top-zipped closure. The duffle next to it: The mixing of two patterns and colors is cute on Fruit Rollups, but if they expect adults to pay for that disaster, they're more mistaken than Howard K. Stern.

(Bottom Right) I kind of like the less conspicuous black-on-black monogram. Plus, the stitching blends in. I wish it had a detachable shoulder strap though.

Top Ten Atrocities.

There are waaay more than ten accessories that deserve to be burned immediately, but here are the ten most vile.

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Balenciaga wallet - Nice try.

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Yves Saint Laurent Downtown tote bag - A lot of people will disagree with me on this one, but I just hate the shape of the bag.

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Gucci - It looks a bit too much like the HAC. Putting a big Gucci logo on it doesn't fool anyone.

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Tumi - Gross.

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Fendi carryall - Put it out of its misery.

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Etro carryall - An indigent person wouldn't use this bag.

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Gucci duffle - It's almost like they ran out of ideas so they just wrote Gucci and expected people to pay for it. I bought Escada cologne once, and the free bag that came with it looked better than this.

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Paul Smith messenger bag - I, too, know how to use Krazy Glue and bottle caps.

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Bally messenger bag - The animal died in vain because I'm pretty sure all those bags collected dust on the shelves.

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Gucci whatever the hell this is - It's a monogram scrotum.

Two By Two.

Source: Getty

Fendi F/W 07/08. I like the suede monogram (::gasp::) tote, but the carryall is a pile of puke and a half.

Fendi's Tacky Coat.

Source: AP

There was this one episode of Sex and the City where Miranda was wearing a black monogram Fendi coat. But this is far worse. Not only does it look like an eBay knockoff, you would be associated with the bargain bin at Century 21 (unless you have like a Patek on your wrist or something). And even then, there's no guarantee that no one's going to question the authenticity of your timepiece, which apparently defines a successful man these days.

OK, So I'm Selling A Few Things On Ebay.

Balenciaga olive green Day messenger: Click here for auction.



Fendi wool scarf: Click here for auction.



Gucci chocolate guccissima leather belt: Click here for auction.



Dolce & Gabbana leather belt: Click here for auction.

Follow The Trail.

Source: Amazon

I had no idea Fendi was in the Eagle Scout. I also had no idea that Fendi could outdo itself in its gawdiness. But here it is.

Available at Amazon for $799 (reduced from $1093).

F Is For The Fatties.

Source: First View


I saw this Fall/Winter 2005 bag at the Fendi outlet. I'm going to get it only if it's been marked down since then AND I can do a pre-sale for the Thanksgiving sale. Of course, I'm assuming they're even going to mark it down for Thanksgiving sale.

But first, I need to sell some bags on eBay.

Fendi Monogram Travel Bag.

Source: Raffaello Network

Helen Keller, bless her heart, can see the puke-inducing monogram done in two putrid tones. The leather FF monogram on the mid-bottom of the bag would have been fine. When you see bloated spaghetti and bile splashed on the floor, the bag has done its job.