Bally Orange Leather Carryall.

Source: Bally

Like green, orange is not used too often on leather pieces. (Louis Vuitton's Castillian Red and Mandarin Epi leather come to mind, as well as the Prada orange saffiano leather.) Spring and summer are all about colors, but red can be overpowering, and yellow is sometimes too bright and cheery; it stands to reason that the combination of the two would yield a pleasant balance of warmth and heat. The hardware, of course, should be gold-toned, as is the case on this Bally carryall.

Available at Bally boutiques.

Bally Shearling Messenger Bag.

Source: Bally

Take away the logo dogtag and the shearling, and it just might make a half-decent bag.

You'd think they'd be more selective about what goes to production, considering they're trying to revitalize the Bally brand and all.

Bally Canvas Duffle.

Source: Zappos

The fall collections are slowly flowing in, but don't forget - it's still sunny outside, and there's plenty of time for summer play. Though I'm wary of the Norwalk Virus, I'm so ready to go on a cruise, and this Bally canvas duffle would be one of the perfect bags. I love the nautical look, especially the rope zipper pull and the striped lining. Notice as well the hardware that attaches the handles - the thicker cylindrical bar is a minute detail that adds large appeal to the bag. Though Bally isn't the "It" brand of the moment, it does have a long history extending back to 1851.

Bally canvas duffle available at Zappos for $475.26 (reduced from $670.95).

Bally Crocodile Portfolio.

Source: Bally

Oo la la...a crocodile portfolio! And it's not the ugly tail part of the crocodile!

Although if you're not the head honcho at a meeting, you'll just look like you're trying too hard. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it in your own spare time.

Now if the Bally customer service rep ever decides to get back to me, I'll be back with the price.

Update: It's $7000. I was too embarassed to ask if it goes on sale at the end of the season.

Top Ten Atrocities.

There are waaay more than ten accessories that deserve to be burned immediately, but here are the ten most vile.

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Balenciaga wallet - Nice try.

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Yves Saint Laurent Downtown tote bag - A lot of people will disagree with me on this one, but I just hate the shape of the bag.

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Gucci - It looks a bit too much like the HAC. Putting a big Gucci logo on it doesn't fool anyone.

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Tumi - Gross.

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Fendi carryall - Put it out of its misery.

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Etro carryall - An indigent person wouldn't use this bag.

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Gucci duffle - It's almost like they ran out of ideas so they just wrote Gucci and expected people to pay for it. I bought Escada cologne once, and the free bag that came with it looked better than this.

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Paul Smith messenger bag - I, too, know how to use Krazy Glue and bottle caps.

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Bally messenger bag - The animal died in vain because I'm pretty sure all those bags collected dust on the shelves.

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Gucci whatever the hell this is - It's a monogram scrotum.

Bally Fur Messenger Bag.

Source: Bally

I used to want a fur bag. That is, until I saw this. (Believe it or not, this is a men's messenger bag.) Everything about this monstrosity irks me, especially the dog tag. I hope I never see this bag in person; I just might throw paint on it, but not because I'm sympathetic to the PETA cause.